Marriage, like any relationship, changes a little over time. Once both partners are in their 50’s, changes in both the relationship and in life can put strain on a marriage. Use these top successful marriage tips to maintain a happy marriage after 50.
For many couples, once you reach your 50s, you’ve been married for many years – or possibly even decades. With that much time together, you both have likely changed to some degree. And now you’re entering a period of your life that’s filled with even more change: children are grown and out of the house and maybe there’s a major job change or even retirement.
Truth be told, this may be the period where you have spent the most time together since, well, ever. And with so many years together, you know your partner almost better than you know yourself. It’s easy at this point to grow apart or let the marriage relationship become flat and wither away to nothing.
Related Post: Marriage Over 50 – 7 Signs That it May Be Over
However, I think that your 50s are the perfect time to rekindle your relationship and let the fires of passion burn bright again. Here are some powerful happy marriage tips to help you add some spice back into your relationship.
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Powerful Successful Marriage Tips to Keep the Love Alive After 50
Whether you’ve been with your spouse for 20+ years or you’re finding new love, you can always boost your relationship skills. Use these tips to help keep your hearts fluttering for each other as you enter your 50s and beyond.
Marriage is a unique relationship in that you see each other at your worst (and your best). You’ve crashed the car, said terrible things to each other, been horribly sick, burned dinners, and more. But you’ve also shared amazing experiences together, raised kids, and maybe traveled parts of the world.
As you face life (and relationship) changes, remember that your partner is a person and deserves your kindness, patience, and tolerance. Even when they leave their smelly socks out for the millionth time or forget to put that borrowed item away.
Think about your words before you say them. Even when you have a frustration to air, choose a kind and loving way to do it. Your partner is your best friend – treat them that way.
Keep Communication Strong
This tip sounds like obvious, cliché advice. However it’s cliché because it’s true. It’s important to communicate the large – and the small – with your spouse. Talk about dinner plans, the phone bill you forgot to pay, your friends, and even how you’re feeling in the relationship.
However, good communication isn’t just about speaking up. Listening has just as big of a place in successful marriage tips as talking does. One of the most important things you can do during a disagreement is to listen to your partner. If listening is difficult for you, try to focus on finding the commonalities rather than differences and work to find a solution that works for both of you.
There will be ebbs and flows in the relationship, and it’s important to talk about them along the way so that you can work together to find a great solution.
Share Yourself Openly and Honestly
A happy marriage requires that you share yourself with your spouse: what you think, how you feel, what you want and what you believe. By the same token, listen and learn about your partner and continue to grow together.
You may find it hard to be honest about certain things, but it’s vital that you do it anyway. Even if you feel angry or ashamed about something.
Your spouse is your best friend – and should be your primary relationship. But your marriage shouldn’t be the only relationship in your life. Foster and nurture platonic relationships by having weekends away with friends to enjoy new experiences and come back as a more interesting partner for your spouse.
Choose Your Battles With Care
When you’ve been together for this long, you both likely know exactly how to push your partner’s buttons and have at least a few grievances in your history. The best happy marriage tips include not addressing every single perceived problem.
Not every slight is intentional. Sometimes the best way to handle an issue is to choose not to handle it. Bite your tongue and let it go (really let it go, don’t let it fester). Forgive. Forget. And move on.
If you need to bring up an issue, make sure that it’s one that really needs addressing – and do it in a loving way. Then let everything else go.
Be Quick to Forgive
We all mess up. And no one feels safe, secure, or loved when their spouse throws past mistakes in your face.
When your spouse messes up, whether it’s spending too much money or backing the car into the (closed) garage door, forgive them and move on because that’s what you would want if the situation was reversed.
Some of the very best successful marriage tips include kindness, openness, and forgiveness.
Be Thoughtful and Appreciative
People tend to take for granted those that we love the most. It’s this false sense of security that we can take advantage of someone we love and they will get over it. Instead of coming home from a bad day and taking it out on your spouse, try to give your spouse the best part of you.
What can you do for your partner to make their day a little better? Being thoughtful might mean doing things from time to time that you hate (like sitting through a chick flick or going fishing), simply because your spouse loves it.
The pastor that married us gave us this warning. He said, “Wake up every morning, asking yourself the same question. What can I do to make her/his day better?” It really stuck with both of us. We have tried to live by that every day since. Trust me when I tell you it does not happen every day. But we do try.
As you’re trying to do these gestures for your partner, also work to recognize and appreciate (communicate it!) when your partner does the same thing for you.
Recognize There Will Be Peaks and Valleys
In every single relationship, there are ebbs and flows because life itself has ups and downs. We all go through personal periods of difficulty and periods of joy. Relationships do the same thing.
One week you may find that you treasure your spouse so much you can’t bear the thought of life without them. And the next week, that very same person annoys you so much you don’t think you can bear life with them. It happens to everyone.
The important thing is knowing that neither place will last forever and successful marriages spend most of their time somewhere in the middle. That middle ground is the precious meat of the relationship where you practically know what the other person is going to do before they do it.
Make Time For Just the Two Of You
Yes, you may be with each other more than you ever have, but keep the romance alive by doing special things together. Go on dates, have weekend getaways, go on a romantic vacation. Dress up for your spouse. Surprise your partner with that special item you know they’ve been wanting.
Appreciate your partner and show it through gestures as well as communicating in other ways.
Final Thoughts on Successful Marriage Tips For a Happy Marriage After 50
“Marriage is easy”, said no one ever. And while it’s not easy, I find that we appreciate the most those things which require the most effort and sacrifice. Marriage certainly falls into that category with happy couples being quick to tell you it wasn’t easy but it was 100% worth the effort. As life in your 50s brings changes to your relationship, use these successful marriage tips to help you stay on track so you can enjoy the best phase of your marriage thus far.